Mikasa keeps thinking she likes him; likes him like that, Sasha would say. She’s not at the point where she can articulate what it is exactly she feels about the Captain, but she thinks she’d be able to figure it out if not for these occasional run-ins with him, where he sneers at her or snaps an order like she’s a dog, and a tiny bit of her old hatred for him flares in her chest.
At the same time, she almost welcomes these slights, these small insults. She has become used to the harshness of this world, but when it comes to her heart she is willing to forego the beautiful if it means also foregoing the cruel. After so many losses sometimes she feels as though everything inside her chest is made of the finest glass, beautifully delicate and fragile, always threatening to break. Other times she feels like her heart is an open wound, raw and bleeding. Sometimes she feels nothing at all.
So when he tells her he needs to speak with her the next night after dinner, almost spitting the words at her, she nods once. She considers saying no but he is her Captain, so she agrees and thinks nothing more of it.
The next night she appears at the appointed place and time to see Levi out of his gear for once, clad in a simple black suit. It’s not until she sees the wildflowers he’s clutching in one fist that she realizes exactly why he asked her here.
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